I was waiting for the Philhealth staff at the hospital when a couple of girls started to take away the silence of the hall way. They were talking about Girl1's guy bestfriend in college. Girl1 told Girl2 that she was surprised one day when she received a text message from her bestfriend on the new celfone (with a new celfone number which only a few of her friends know). The texting went this way.
Guy: Hi Girl1! How are you?
Girl1: I’m fine, where did you get my number?
Guy: Who are you?
Girl1 (Surprised): This is Girl1, you texted me earlier.
Guy: Ow, I forgot my message. Can you send it back to me?
Girl1(With a hunch that the wife might be using the guy’s celfone): Hi Girl1! How are you? – that was your message.
Guy: So, you are Girl1. This is Guy’s wife. He’s already sleeping.
Girl2 said, “Shocks, do they have issues? She should not be reading text messages on her husband’s celfone, that’s private.” Girl1 said “I thought it only happens to partners who are not married yet. You tend to feel insecure if you are not the wife yet.”
The noise went on and on as I walked away from the Cashier. I only realized I was supposed to leave when the Philhealth staff shouted on my face: "NEXT!!!".
I felt affected by the teller's shout, but I got more affected by what I heard from the girls. I also open messages on my husband’s celfone.I read new and old messages; even the sent items. But, I don’t do it because I want to spy or because I’m expecting to find out something that will turn me into a monster. My husband also opens the messages on my celfone.
Celfone is a very personal stuff, I agree. But when you are married (or even when you are not married yet but you are in a committed relationship), I don’t think it matters if your partner reads it or not. If you read it, it’s important that you do it for any other reason but not because you expect to find out something. If you don’t, you know that your partner will tell you about it anyway. These will tell you if you have both trust and respect in your relationship.
If it so happened that my husband is not comfortable with me reading messages on his celfone, I will respect that and trust that he will tell me whatever it is that I should know as his partner. But since he’s okay with it, I will still scour messages on his celfone and if I find out about something.... I will not reply with the “who are you” message; I will get something sharp and useful! I’m just kidding! If I ever find out about something that is supposed to be kept from me, I will talk to my husband and settle the issue with him. Doing it differently will only make things worse. We’ll, that’s me; and maybe that's true also for some other people who believe that trust and respect are important.